I always get asked how I knew that Akin was the one, especially being the type of girl to rarely date or even entertain guys unless I felt a deep connection with them. In this post, I share a few key factors that made me gravitate towards Akin and choosing him as my spouse and life partner.
YOU ARE FRIENDS FIRST
A relationship built on friendship is better than one built on simply physical attraction, sex, money, or any other superficial qualities some people look for when searching for a life partner. I know you’ve been asked by someone when they say “what are your top 5 qualities you are looking for in a spouse?” What are the five qualities you list? I truly believe that being a friend first should top your list of must-haves.
YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITHOUT SPEAKING
You know the look. That moment when your man looks at you and does this little smile while his eyes get low. Or the look he gives you when you are sitting across the room from him and you both speak the same language without your lips moving. My favorite is when we see something funny while we are outside and can just be free with each other.
HE TALKS ABOUT YOU TO OTHERS IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY
What’s better than self-love? A man that expresses his love outwardly to you and anyone around you. You know what I mean. You’ve seen couples where the husband gives his woman sweet compliments and she smiles softly. A man that loves you will use every opportunity to express his love for you. I recall watching Married at First Season 9 where Deonna complained that Greg was over-complimenting her! I’m here giving all sorts of side eye because there are some women out there who would love for their partners to give them at least one compliment in a day and here sis was, saying her man was giving out too many. Smh. Sis, the man that loves you will compliment you tire! I think it’s just a guy’s way of expressing their very visual thoughts.
YOU FORGET THE PAST
Your past relationships may have you thinking there is no hope. You may be questioning yourself and asking, “are there any good guys left?” “why do I always date the bad guys?” Sis, don’t fall into the downward spiral of an hopeless love quest. The man meant for you will have you leaving your past behind. If you’re like me and were hurt in the past, I’m encouraging you to not give up on love. When you meet your life partner, you’ll know why God had to put you through everything to get to where you are today. That very moment when you look at your man and everything just feels right. You’re at peace. You can be yourself. Any insecurities your ex-partners tried to place in you are removed. Your walls come down and your true self blossoms and blooms. Remember, your past does not define you. Even if you were the type to have multiple partners or not value yourself, when the right man comes along, you will find yourself changing your ways for the better because what you have now is worth more than gold. You don’t want to let this man slip from your fingers.
OLUWA IS INVOLVED
Ladies, I encourage you to pray for the man you want to marry — whether you have met him or are yet to meet him. PRAY. For my girls who are single and praying for God to send them their man, it’s not enough for you to simply wait for your husband. You have to put it into prayer and have faith that God will indeed surprise you. If you are like me, you prayed during your singleness for the bone of your bone. You wrote down the qualities you wanted in a man (provider, hard-worker, loving, handsome, committed, faithful, loyal, etc). You tell yourself that you can never settle. You’ve envisioned this man for so long and held on to that vision of who you THINK God wants you to marry. But let me tell you, what you envision may not be what God sends you. Just know that when God places this man into your life, He has ordained this union before you.
As deep as you are in Christ, know that your future husband’s faith will not (and should not) diminish your light. In fact, your faith should grow when you are dating and committed to this man God has sent. Any man that tries to pull you away from Christ Jesus is not for you. And that’s on PERIOD. In my native language, ‘Oluwa’ means God and therefore, make it a point to involve Oluwa into every area of your life, including your relationship. The man God sends you will make sure that he not only loves you deeply, but he will know the principles in the Bible regarding marriage — he knows the responsibilities he has as a man. Knowing how much your God-sent man loves you will have you giving thanks to God often because you know the love is not superficial, but rather embedded in the body of Christ. True love is boundless and without walls. I refer to my favorite and yet simple verses in the Bible: we love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19.
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